Today I woke up crying. It has been a while since I did that. I hardly slept so that probably didn’t help. But I also feel very vulnerable right now. Several little wounds feel open, asking to be seen and healed. Maybe it’s the full moon reminding me to shine a light in my darkest corners to acknowledge the shadows. Maybe it’s because I am away from home and have been stuck in a quarantine hotel for 5 days?!? Whatever the reason I know that I am being reminded that I have healing to do here.
So I turn to the greater universe around me for guidance. Living connected to the natural cycle of the earth, the moon and life around me allows me to find all the answers I need even when I am at my lowest. I know that shining a light on anything casts a shadow and it is in my shadow work that I find healing. I know this. I coach this. And yes, I practice it.
This morning I wasn’t surprised to wake up in this state. Like I said, I am away from home and in addition in an environment that is as far away from where I am happy as is possible. I can’t see nature, the moon or the sun. Just concrete and more concrete. And I know I am being called to the mat by this Full Moon which is also happening around the Fall Equinox. It is the time of year when we are being reminded to focus on balance, abundance and gratitude for our harvest, the bounty of the earth and in our lives. Balance…a bit of a buzz word in the area of self-care, mindset and one I often used as a self-care coach in the past. Balance between exercise and sitting; sleep and wakeful state; healthy and unhealthy. But too often this quest for balance can set us up to feel like we are somehow failing. If we are getting enough sleep then are we getting enough done? What if you aren’t tired at 10pm? What if your brain is buzzing with inspiration and staying up and emptying your creative energy into a piece of art, onto paper or in some other form is what you need to do for balance? What if balance is focusing on “doing” and then later you will focus on resting. What if we look at balance as something that takes turns instead of all being perfectly balanced at the same time?
This is why using the lunar cycle as a guidance in my life has made so much sense. New moon – set intentions, plant the seeds of desire and purpose. Waxing cycle – nurture self, the seeds of intention and start taking action on them as light grows brighter. Full moon – harvest; celebrate abundance and gifts achieved, received and present in your life. Waning cycle – start turning inward, reflecting and as light dims embrace stillness and rest so you can once again find your purpose, your inner light seed and grow again, heal more, and move through life with purpose.
My work this morning is to understand that by choosing to live life with an open heart makes me vulnerable. It opens my inner self to judgement of others. My work is to not allow their judgement to become mine. They are judging based on their own life experience. Only I own my experience. When I feel like I am bleeding then I have let something on the outside come inside and rip the scab off. And I welcome the tears as they remind me that I always have more lessons to learn…always more lessons…A life without learning is not a life worth living. I strongly believe this. And as soon as I look for the lesson I feel better, stronger and I feel the healing.
As you read this and wonder how to apply to your life or situation let me share the questions I asked myself this morning:
- Which wound has been opened up by this experience outside of me? Where are my tears falling from?
- What am I feeling? Lost? Abandoned? Unloved? Not seen? Get very clear on which one or if there are several.
- Now ask yourself if this is true in your heart. Are you truly unloved for example? No – because you love yourself. Are you abandoned? No – you have someone or several. Everyone does. Reach out and feel it. Are you not seen or heard as you wish to be? If yes, then speak up and ask to be heard – in fact, demand it 😉
I answered all this in my journal this morning and finished with a strong feeling of self-love and peace in my heart and wrote the following: I am love. I am wealthy. I am heard by me. I am seen by me. I am healed. I am abundant and flowing. I am in balance with myself. And then I expressed gratitude for all.
In addition to journaling I also focus on daily practices that help keep me centered and grounded and completely connected to myself. I will be talking about that on the Rising Free Membership call tonight.
How do you heal yourself? How do you love yourself? Do you?
Today while the moon is still full and the fall equinox calls things into balance ask yourself what balance looks like for you right now. What do you need more of and less of? What do you need to do or not do? How can you show yourself more compassion, love and grace?
You are love and valued beyond measure. You have the most beautiful and gracious soul. Celebrate you today. I am celebrating you and your loving healing.
In healing and light,
The Separation Club Blog 